For Someone..

I can turn and walk away pretending to be strong... because I know that's something you always thought, I was. I can run away from all of this and go to a secret place where no one could find me. But I know everything won't be okay, you are the sun, the sky, the grass on the ground, and the air that I breathe. You are something I need to survive. Nothing last forever no matter how bad you want it to. I know, I wanted him pretty bad. But maybe it is for the best. I am letting him go silently though. I can't tell him in fear that I will make a fool of myself by begging him to stay. Suck back my tears and walk away. I can't worry about my heart breaking. Someday I'll find someone...someday. I wish the tears would stop... But it's not that easy to hold back tears, to pretend that I am not loving him anymore. It's hard to hide and rejects the pain that has been thrown on me, a lot of times. I still don't care. I know he's hurting me for something else, I just don't know why? And what? I'm just so tired of my life. I just wanted a happy life with him though.. Every time I reminisce our pasts, my heart would stop beating fast. I told him, he's the only one that made my heart beats so fast before.. And what did I do to make him find someone else? I did my best in loving him, I did my best in controlling my feelings for him despite of the distance we are having. He told me he's not going to give up on us. Oh yeah, I forgot, us doesn't exist..

Love, Anna